Do It Now: Name a Guardian for Your Minor Children
We know it is difficult, even horrific, to imagine someone else raising your children. However,
you must consider who you would choose to fill this very important role. Otherwise, a judge—a
stranger who does not know you or your wishes, your child, or your relatives and friends—will
determine who raises your children if something happens to you. Your
children’s guardian could wind up being a relative you do not get along with or, less commonly,
a stranger you have never met.
No one will ever be you or parent exactly like you. More than likely, however, someone you
know could do a decent job providing for your children’s general welfare, education, and
medical needs if you can no longer do so. Parents with minor children must name someone to
raise their children in the event both parents die or are otherwise unable to care for them before
the children become adults. While the likelihood of you and the children’s other parent both
passing away or becoming unable to parent your children is slim, the consequences of not
naming a guardian can be severe and are well worth contemplating and addressing.
If no guardian is nominated within your will or separate writing, a judge will decide who raises
your child. Anyone can ask to be considered, and the judge will select the person they deem
most appropriate. Families tend to fight over the custody of children when a loved one dies,
especially if money is involved. On the other hand, if you name a guardian, the judge will likely
support your choice as long as the individual you select is willing and able to take on the
responsibility of raising your children.
How to Choose a Guardian
Your children’s guardian can be any individual you feel comfortable with, whether they are a
relative or friend. Here are the factors our clients have considered when selecting guardians
(and backup guardians).
● How well the children and potential guardian know one another and whether they enjoy
spending time together
● Parenting style, moral values, educational level, health practices, and religious or
spiritual beliefs
● Where the guardian lives; if it is far away, your children would have to move from a
familiar school, friends, and neighborhood to a new and unfamiliar location
● The age and health of the guardian-candidates:
○ Grandparents may have the time but not the energy to keep up with a toddler or
teenager.
○ An older guardian may become ill or pass away before a child is grown, so your
child could potentially face the loss of an additional parental figure.
○ A younger guardian, especially a sibling, may be too focused on establishing
their own lives, especially if they are finishing college or starting a career.
WARNING: Serving as guardian and raising your children is a big deal; do not spring this
responsibility on anyone without speaking with them about your expectations and ensuring they
are willing and prepared. Ask your top candidates if they would be willing to serve, and ensure
you name at least two alternates if your first choice cannot serve.
Who Is in Charge of the Money?
Raising your children should not be a financial burden for the guardian, and a candidate’s lack
of finances should not be the deciding factor. Ideally, you can provide enough money (from your
accounts, property, and life insurance) to provide for your children after you pass away. Some
parents also earmark funds to help the guardian buy a larger car or house or build an addition
onto their existing home so there is plenty of room for taking on the responsibility and
addressing the needs of extra children.
Additional Factors to Consider When Deciding Who Manages the Children’s Money
● In some circumstances, naming a person separate from the guardian to manage your
children’s inheritance may be a good idea. That person would fill the role of your
successor trustee and manage the money and property set aside for the children in a
trust designed for them. The guardian would be responsible for the day-to-day raising of
the children.
● Under appropriate circumstances, having the same person raise the children and handle
the money can simplify things because the guardian would not have to ask someone
else to make distributions for the children's benefit.
● In some situations, the best person to raise the children may not be the best person to
handle the money, and it may be tempting for them to use this money for their own
purposes. So, dividing the responsibilities may be particularly beneficial and avoid the
misuse of any money you leave for your children’s benefit.
Let’s Continue This Conversation
We know thinking about death or your potential inability to care for your child is not easy, but
Do not let that stop you from creating a proactive plan to address the unexpected. We are happy
To talk this difficult topic through with you and legally document your wishes so that they are
enforceable at your death. Understand that you are not bound to your initial selection and can
change your mind and select a different guardian at any time. The chances of actually needing
the guardian to step in are usually slim (we always hope this is the one nomination that is never
needed). However, your job as a parent is to provide for and protect your children, so begin
planning by calling our office at 352-377-6600 for an appointment.